Today, I sat and held a little boy's hand while his family decided his fate.
This little boy is in 3rd grade and excels in school. He is quiet, and a seemingly very serious kid. I have meet him several times now and he will only offer his hand to shake when greeting me. He doesn't really look into my eyes when I speak to him or seem affectionate or happy at all. The only time I have seen him smile is when he's busy playing soccer. It's like he's lost in the game and doesn't have time to be so serious. He lives with his grandmother, who runs a bar out of her home. Before and after school he is in charge of selling cigarettes, and fetching drinks for adults who are staggering around his yard yelling curse words at each other. He often watches men get so drunk off of the homemade moonshine, that they have to be carried home, including his own father. His parents live in a one room building with no electricity or running water. They drink so much that they are not capable of taking care of themselves much less their little boy. This is the life of a sweet innocent child that has more to overcome just in the next few years than I have to worry about in the rest of my life. To make matters worse, he is HIV positive... he knows it, and is often looked down on because of it. He has a family full of Uncles, Aunts, and cousins who love him, but he has been told lies by his own father, among others, so he's unsure that he can really trust anyone.
Today, this innocent little boy sat nearly in my lap and held my hand so tightly that I thought I might loose the feeling in my fingers. We sat in a room with two of his uncles, his mother, and his grandmother. They were discussing letting the little boy live at the family's house with his cousins. There were many things to discuss including being able to manage his disease properly so that he gets all of his medicine on time each day and can be taken to all of his check ups. All of these issues were discussed in front of the little boy as we sat in the dark and worked out all of the details. The more they talked, the more he sank into me as if he wanted to just disappear. I only caught about half of the conversation in Nyanja and a bit was translated for me. I kept wishing that he didn't have to hear us speaking about him and suddenly realized that this was probably not the only terrifying conversation that he had heard over the years.
I have never felt so helpless. I wanted to take him home to the US and adopt him. I can't even imagine what he has been through already at his age. By the end of the meeting, it was decided that he would move in to the family house and would be brought up by several of his aunts and uncles. He seemed very pleased with the outcome but very hesitant to be left at the grandmothers house until the family could make room for him at their house. I didn't want to let go of that little boys hand but I know that I can't protect him from anything. I can only hope and pray that his life gets better and that he's surrounded by family who can spend the rest of his life showing him how special he is. I hope that his family tells him everyday how much they love him, that they will support and guide him, and how talented and wonderful he really is.
Hard day for this momma who just wants to fix everything...
This little boy is in 3rd grade and excels in school. He is quiet, and a seemingly very serious kid. I have meet him several times now and he will only offer his hand to shake when greeting me. He doesn't really look into my eyes when I speak to him or seem affectionate or happy at all. The only time I have seen him smile is when he's busy playing soccer. It's like he's lost in the game and doesn't have time to be so serious. He lives with his grandmother, who runs a bar out of her home. Before and after school he is in charge of selling cigarettes, and fetching drinks for adults who are staggering around his yard yelling curse words at each other. He often watches men get so drunk off of the homemade moonshine, that they have to be carried home, including his own father. His parents live in a one room building with no electricity or running water. They drink so much that they are not capable of taking care of themselves much less their little boy. This is the life of a sweet innocent child that has more to overcome just in the next few years than I have to worry about in the rest of my life. To make matters worse, he is HIV positive... he knows it, and is often looked down on because of it. He has a family full of Uncles, Aunts, and cousins who love him, but he has been told lies by his own father, among others, so he's unsure that he can really trust anyone.
Today, this innocent little boy sat nearly in my lap and held my hand so tightly that I thought I might loose the feeling in my fingers. We sat in a room with two of his uncles, his mother, and his grandmother. They were discussing letting the little boy live at the family's house with his cousins. There were many things to discuss including being able to manage his disease properly so that he gets all of his medicine on time each day and can be taken to all of his check ups. All of these issues were discussed in front of the little boy as we sat in the dark and worked out all of the details. The more they talked, the more he sank into me as if he wanted to just disappear. I only caught about half of the conversation in Nyanja and a bit was translated for me. I kept wishing that he didn't have to hear us speaking about him and suddenly realized that this was probably not the only terrifying conversation that he had heard over the years. I have never felt so helpless. I wanted to take him home to the US and adopt him. I can't even imagine what he has been through already at his age. By the end of the meeting, it was decided that he would move in to the family house and would be brought up by several of his aunts and uncles. He seemed very pleased with the outcome but very hesitant to be left at the grandmothers house until the family could make room for him at their house. I didn't want to let go of that little boys hand but I know that I can't protect him from anything. I can only hope and pray that his life gets better and that he's surrounded by family who can spend the rest of his life showing him how special he is. I hope that his family tells him everyday how much they love him, that they will support and guide him, and how talented and wonderful he really is.
Hard day for this momma who just wants to fix everything...
